Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
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Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
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Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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