May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize