I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
