I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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