It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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