Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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