If i come over, it means nothing
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
