fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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