That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
there is glitter all over my balls
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