Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
a search helicopter?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
