Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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