you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
