So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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