You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
