That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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