I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
