How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
