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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

  (646): View more from New York

  Tell them they are ugly.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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• (585): View more from New York

  Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit

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• (214): View more from Texas

  If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.

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• (707): View more from California

  Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.

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