i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?