Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't believe he cheated

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how

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  (860): I can't believe he cheated (1-860): Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how http://tfl.nu/8j5c
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

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  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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  (256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5
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  (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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  (530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.

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  (860): Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years. http://tfl.nu/9khg
  Replies (78) Good night (6679) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.

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  (573): I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze. http://tfl.nu/2uw1
  Replies (17) Good night (3434) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her

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  (714): We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her http://tfl.nu/ekrz
  Replies (72) Good night (2009) Bad night (11209) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

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  (614): Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/mefj
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  (585): View more from New York

  Why was I handcuffed to the roof?

  (518): View more from New York

  It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly

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  (585): Why was I handcuffed to the roof? (518): It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly http://tfl.nu/nk88
  Replies (27) Good night (9125) Bad night (1029)
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  (716): View more from New York

  There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair

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  (716): There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair http://tfl.nu/dbyu
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship

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  (586): and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship http://tfl.nu/q3ik
  Replies (3) Good night (2471) Bad night (864)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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  (425): We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party. http://tfl.nu/nzty
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  (315): View more from New York

  Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?

  (518): View more from New York

  Its called bad cop laid cop.

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  (315): Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for? (518): Its called bad cop laid cop. http://tfl.nu/7dnl
  Replies (9) Good night (3659) Bad night (533)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?

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  (308): So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/8n8l
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.

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  (515): We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high. http://tfl.nu/7iqu
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