Texts From Last Night

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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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  (785): You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early. http://tfl.nu/h3ys
  Replies (21) Good night (1167) Bad night (3864)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.

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  (210): She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas. http://tfl.nu/4atb
  Replies (19) Good night (1454) Bad night (4478)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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  (732): He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it. http://tfl.nu/hjdx
  Replies (79) Good night (9369) Bad night (2985)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche

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  (941): Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche http://tfl.nu/hcs6
  Replies (50) Good night (1859) Bad night (6910)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question

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  (978): Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question http://tfl.nu/aezp
  Replies (6) Good night (3282) Bad night (940)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out

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  (256): its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out http://tfl.nu/ng5c
  Replies (11) Good night (1436) Bad night (2822)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.

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  (917): u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds. http://tfl.nu/c4et
  Replies (4) Good night (2951) Bad night (1002)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.

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  (610): It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock. http://tfl.nu/i24l
  Replies (22) Good night (2123) Bad night (851)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...

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  (540): It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces... http://tfl.nu/y5ts
  Replies (6) Good night (1921) Bad night (639)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...

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  (501): After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well... http://tfl.nu/7bm0
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (951)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.

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  (406): He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame. http://tfl.nu/fkng
  Replies (8) Good night (721) Bad night (1250)
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  (949): View more from California

  Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.

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  (949): Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside. http://tfl.nu/4ddk
  Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (289)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.

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  (847): Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/9r5o
  Replies (5) Good night (267) Bad night (570)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.

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  (330): I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera. http://tfl.nu/gla9
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (163)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?

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  (905): Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid? http://tfl.nu/amx6
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (161)

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