The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
