The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
