Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
