Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
