Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
