Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
