I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize