i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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