New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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