Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
