Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
