i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
