At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
