just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
