You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
