He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
