I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
