so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
