she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
