covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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