My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
