Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
