i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
