Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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