my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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