Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Barsexuality is the new black.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
