Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize