I think I am morally bankrupt
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
