dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
