At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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