His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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