I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think my moral compass just broke
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