Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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