pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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