Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You made out with two different species that night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
