If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
